Ribbons and Bows
by JennBenson
Summary: Realizing that Ed's birthday is approaching, Olivia begins to wonder if she made a mistake by letting him go. But will she have it in her to fix it? Tuckson One-Shot.


_**Hello again, Tuckson fans! I'm currently stalled a bit with my other story, and this one-shot idea popped into my head so I decided to make it happen. I hope to get back to Everlasting soon, but until then, hopefully this will hold you over. It is set right around where the show is currently.**_

 _ **Characters are sadly not mine, but any mistakes definitely are.**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

 _ **#Tuckson**_

* * *

"Mommy, Mommy look!" Noah yelled, running over to where Olivia sat on the couch. He was holding a piece of red construction paper and a giant smile on his face. "Dis my birfday ca-der."

"A what, sweet boy?" Olivia asked, pulling him up into her lap and observing the piece of paper, because she had no idea what he meant. On the piece of paper were twelve squares with dates in them, some dates having stickers on them. "A birthday calendar?"

"Yep," he replied, leaning back into her chest and helping her hold the paper up. "Dis Noah birfday. Dis Mommy birfday. Dis Lucy birfday."

"Wow, Noah," Olivia said with a genuine smile on her face. "I love this. Should we put it on the fridge?"

Noah nodded, but then sat up and turned around to look at his mother's face.

"Not done yet," he announced, taking the paper from her and holding it close to her face. "Tucker birfday…need sticker…."

"Oh…." Olivia gasped, not expecting her little boy to bring that up, but as she thought about it, it really did make sense. Ed Tucker had been a part of Noah's life for almost a year, almost in the same capacity as Lucy. He would pick him up from daycare, take him to the park, join them for meals. Of course her son wanted to add him to the birthday calendar.

If she were honest with herself, Olivia had hoped that the idea of Ed Tucker would just slowly fade from her son's mind. She hoped that his young age would mean he didn't notice the sudden absence, but she should've known better. She had ended things with Ed a little over two weeks ago, and she was now cursing herself a bit for brushing aside how that would be felt by her small son.

"Sweet Noah," she said softly, trying to gather her thoughts, before deciding that now was not the time to broach the topic with her son. She needed to look into the best way to have the conversation. "We will find Tucker's birthday tomorrow, okay?"

"Otay," he said, his face falling a bit. "Tucker pway?"

Olivia let out a little whimper at that, trying to keep her tears at bay, before crushing Noah into her chest and holding him close with one arm, while pulling her phone out with the other. She just didn't have it in her to answer his questions that night. _Maybe it makes me a bad mother_ , she thought before digging in her pocket for her phone and flipping through her contacts.

"Okay, baby boy," she said, offering him his initial requested information in exchange for his questions hopefully ceasing. "I'm looking for Tucker's birthday right now, okay?"

As she flipped through her calendar, her eyes widened in realization that Ed's birthday was the next week. Dammit, she thought, knowing that Noah would not forget this piece of information. He loved celebrating birthdays, probably because he got to eat cake, but he also loved the idea of giving people gifts and singing to them.

Letting out a sigh, she resigned herself to the endless questions that night as she told Noah when Ed's birthday was. As expected, when he put the stick on, his face lit up and he turned to look at Olivia with wide eyes.

"Dat soon!" he said. "Need a pwesent. Tucker play trains wiff me. I draw him train card…"

As Noah continued to list off all the things he would include in his picture for Ed, Olivia leaned back on the couch and let a few tears fall as she began to fully understand what her break with Ed was doing, both to her and her son.

She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't regret that conversation and for allowing herself to run away from a man, the only man, who had ever proven to her that she didn't have to run. But she did anyways and found every excuse in the book, including her son, to throw at him. Tucker, as usual, took what she said and didn't push her on it, but his eyes told another story: one of devastation and pain at the thought of losing her.

But Olivia hadn't looked back since that night, until now. Realizing Noah was occupied, she stood up and poured herself a generous glass of wine and sipped at it. She watched her son dump his crayons onto the coffee table and begin his birthday card for Ed, as the memories of yet another failed relationship came flooding back to her.

* * *

Hours later, Olivia frustratingly rolled over in her bed and slapped her hand over her face. Noah had gone to bed over four hours ago, and now here she was wide awake and unable to stop her brain. Despite the large glass of red she nursed before they both went to sleep, she was too keyed up.

Finally admitting defeat, she flung the covers off and sat up, swinging her legs to the side of the bed and standing up slowly. Grabbing her robe off of the corner chair, she tied it snuggled around her waist and crept out of her room, passed Noah's cracked door, and into the kitchen where she grabbed her used wine glass from the dishwasher and uncorked the nearly empty bottle, pouring herself another serving of the fruity, yet semi-dry blend.

These were the moments when she would usually shoot Ed a message asking if he was awake. He often was and would respond immediately by calling her, his voice having a quick soothing effect on whatever reason she was up and stewing. If he was asleep, he still would respond but it was more slowly, and generally by text to make sure she was okay.

 _He never once let me down_ , she thought to herself, watching the wine swirl around in her glass as she moved her wrist gently while memories of her relationship with Ed Tucker flooded her mind.

 _Tucker...thank you._

 _For what? You did great in there._

 _I get it, you're just looking out for me._

 _Always._

 _Just be here._

 _I'm not going anywhere._

 _I'm afraid it won't last._

 _That's not true. Not if I can help it._

The memories continued to swirl through her mind, almost mixing together into one long scene as the many times that Ed Tucker stood steady by her side crept to the front of her brain. Sure, it was complicated. All relationships are complicated. He was ready to retire, she wasn't. She still had years in her to devote to her job, but why couldn't she devote some time to Ed as well? Yes, she had a young son, but Ed had never asked her to not spend time with Noah. He had consistently taken a back seat in their trio and Noah clearly loved his "Tucker". So what was holding her back?

That question burned in her mind as she began to imagine what life could have been like for her and Noah, had she not panicked and ended things with a good man. How maybe, just maybe, she could smell the flowers with him while still working, while still devoting time to her son. In fact, it would add yet another person to Noah's life that would love him and nurture him. But she hadn't given herself, or Ed, that chance.

 _He never once asked me for more than what I could give_ , she thought to herself, shaking her head and taking another sip of the wine, her eyes darting to the bright green numbers on the microwave, reminding her that once again she was not going to get much sleep.

 _What have I done_ , she eventually whispered to herself, setting her glass down and bracing her body over the counter, head down as tears began to stream down her face. She peered over at her phone that was sitting by the sink, and for a minute tossed around the idea of texting Ed just to see if he was having as much trouble sleeping as she was, but eventually talked herself out of it.

 _No,_ she thought to herself. _I need to fix this, but I owe him more than a middle of the night text_.

Olivia took a deep breath and wiped her face before standing up straight and resolving herself to what she needed to do next.

 _Ed Tucker is endgame for me_ , she finally admitted to herself as the clouds lifted from her brain and her body began to relax. _And I'm gonna get him back…_

* * *

A week later, Ed Tucker was sitting on his worn out brown leather sofa, nursing a bourbon and staring at the blank television set. It had been a crappy day and he wanted nothing more than to forget about it and go to sleep, but he couldn't. His mind was filled with all of the potential ways this day could have gone: a morning romp with Olivia, birthday pancakes with Noah, maybe an early end to his work day to pick the little boy up in time to play at the playground before an intimate birthday dinner with his girlfriend of nearly a year. But none of that happened. In fact, he hadn't even gotten a message from Olivia acknowledging the day. Not that he should be surprised, seeing as they had been broken up for a few weeks, but it still stung.

As he continued to sit there, wallowing in self-pity, a knock at the door startled him. Immediately looking at his watch and seeing it was a little after ten, he put his empty glass down and wandered to the door, eyes widening in shock as he looked through the peephole. He flung the door open and gawked a bit, before finally finding his voice.

"Olivia…" he breathed out, taking in the sight before him. Her face looked hesitant, but she was still gorgeous standing there, hair falling in loose waves to her shoulders, a black coat covering her body, and holding a Happy Birthday balloon.

"Hey," she whispered, her mouth suddenly dry as she had forgotten all the words she wanted to say to him. "Happy Birthday…"

They both stood there, staring at each other, before Ed shook himself a bit and moved out of the way to invite her in.

"Sorry for just…dropping by like this…" she said, her palms beginning to sweat as her nerves set in. But Ed quickly put her at ease, just the way he always did.

"I'm so glad you did," he said honestly, taking the balloon from her and setting on the table in his foyer, before ushering her towards the couch. "Can I take your coat," he asked, hands extended and ready to grab it, but she shook her head.

"Nah," she said, suddenly sounding unsure of herself. "I'm fine…"

"Oh, okay," he said, his voice not able to hide to disappointment that she wasn't likely going to stay long, but then he watched her smirk a bit.

"But maybe I could try your bourbon?"

Ed let out a relieved chuckle and headed to the kitchen.

"Always."

An hour later found the duo sitting on opposite ends of Ed's couch, going over SVU's most recent case.

"Just glad it's over…" Olivia said, shaking her head and finishing off her beverage, before putting the glass on the table and running her fingers over her mouth a bit. "But enough about me…how are you?"

Ed just looked at her, his blue eyes piercing into her brown ones, as he struggled to come up with an answer that didn't make him sound desperate for her. In the end, he settled with an Olivia Benson original.

"I'm fine," he allowed, nodding his head and running his hand along the back of the couch. "Same ole, same ole."

"Ah," Olivia said, her eyes dropping briefly before taking a deep breath and looking back up at him.

"I miss you," she blurted out, immediately laughing a bit at herself. That was not how she planned to start this conversation, but it was too late now.

A small smile spread across Ed's face, the corners of his eyes crinkling. It was one of Olivia's favorite thing about his smile.

"I miss you too," he whispered, putting his glass next to hers and bravely scooting forward so their knees were touching. Ed reached for her hands and held them between their bodies, not breaking their eye contact. "I'm so glad you came by…"

"Look, Ed," she began, her voice a tad shaky with nerves. Ed, sensing she was going to try and explain, yet again, why she needed the break, was quick to interrupt her.

"Liv, you don't have to explain this to me," he said softly, but firmly. "I get it. I promise I do. I just…ya know…wish I could convince you that we could work…"

"Ed…" she began, but was interrupted.

"I don't have to retire…I didn't mean for that to scare you," he said, words tumbling out of his mouth in a very un-Ed-like fashion, but allowing his message the permeate deeper in Olivia as she saw just how rattled he was at the thought of losing her for good. "We could just continue how we were…if that's what you want…what you need. I didn't mean to push; in fact, I didn't even mean for _you_ to retire. The whole conversation came out wrong. I just…Olivia, I'd rather have even a little bit of you than nothing at all."

The last sentence out of Ed's mouth took Olivia's breath away.

 _I'd rather have even a little bit of you than nothing at all_.

She felt like she had been punched in the gut, but in the best way possible. Her emotions bubbled up to the surface and no longer in control of them, she allowed a few tears to escape down her face.

"Liv, don't cry," Ed said immediately, scooting closer and reaching out his rough, calloused hands to wipe the droplets off of her cheek. "I just…oh, don't cry."

It was too late, as soon as his hands touched her cheek the tears were relentless. Olivia Margaret Benson sat on Ed Tucker's old brown sofa, still in her coat, crying a stream of silent tears as Ed looked on helplessly.

"I…" she said, taking a few deep breaths and trying to continue. "I'm sorry. I got scared, and well, when I get scared…I run…"

"I know," he whispered, his eyes never leaving her face and his hands staying on her cheeks, cupping them lightly.

"I'm so sorry, Ed," she said, searching his eyes. "I wish I could take it back. But maybe, well, maybe I needed those weeks of self-torture and feeling alone to remember…to remember that you are just there. You've never pushed me. You've never asked more from me than what you knew I could give. And I'm sorry I made it seem like you did…"

"Oh, baby…"

"Can we try this again?" she asked, her voice soft. Softer than he had ever heard it.

"There's nothing I want more…"

Olivia let out a relieved laugh as the last of her tears dried up, and she gave Ed a soft smile, the gleam returning to her eyes.

"Good," she said, standing up and taking their glasses to his sink, before walking slowly back over to him. "Because, well, I gotcha a present…"

"Oh yeah?" he asked

"Yep," she said, her fingers playing with the tie on her trench. "I mean, that is, if you want it?"

"Well, I might wanna see it first…" Ed said, a smirk growing on his face as he watched Olivia smile and slowly loosen the knot that was holding her coat on.

"You really wanna?" She asked, biting her bottom lip and batting her lashes over dark, brown lustful eyes.

"Oh yeah," he ground out, covering her hands with his own and helping her untie the sash. As soon as the trench fell open, and down her shoulders, he let out a whimper and his jaw dropped. "Jesus Christ, Olivia…"

"Happy Birthday, Ed," she said softly, her cheeks reddening a bit but she didn't cover herself up. Instead she stood there, in front of a speechless Ed Tucker, wearing a bra and panty set that had very little material, but what it had, was a red, lacy silk that caused Ed's mouth to immediately water and his eyes to widen.

He didn't say anything for a little bit, causing Olivia to worry that maybe she was being too forward. But Ed immediately noticed the worried feeling wash over her features and stood up quickly, reaching out to grasp her hands and pull her close to him, his eyes raking over her body.

"God…" he stammered, his eyes finishing their examination and landing back on her own brown orbs. "You are so gorgeous…just…so fucking gorgeous."

He leaned forward, close enough to where Olivia could feel his already labored breathing hitting her lips, as her eyes closed and she prepared herself to feel him. But she didn't right away.

"Are you sure?" Ed whispered, reaching one hand up and tucking her hair behind her ear as he studied her face for any sign of doubt.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life," she said. "I want you, Ed Tucker. I want you right now…and I want you forever…"

"I'm always right here. And I always will be right here, Olivia," he said, driving his point home with words before he dove in with the physical confirmation. "Forever…and even beyond…"

Olivia's hands moved to grip his tight blue tee as Ed tangled his fingers in her hair and tilted her head back. He paused, centimeters from her lips, and rubbed his nose against hers.

"I love you, Olivia Margaret Benson," he whispered, blue eyes on brown, before searing his lips against hers and swallowing the whimper she let out. The kiss was urgent, but still soft, as he sucked lightly on her upper lip, then her bottom lip, before using his grip on her hair to tilt her head farther back and allow him more access.

Olivia, never more willing to oblige, opened her mouth and greedily accepted the entrance of his tongue as they continued the familiar, and now relieved, battle for dominance in the kiss.

Eventually, Olivia pulled back for air, both of them breathing heavily but their eyes still locked on each other's. She moved her hands from where they had bunched up his tee and swiftly removed it, before placing her lips against his chest and giving little pecks all over his now exposed body. Ed kept his fingers in her hair, slowly guiding her along her route, before pulling her back up for more lip action.

Unable to contain himself much longer, he removed his hands from her hair and reached down to the backs of her thighs to pick her up.

Olivia let out a little squeal, but immediately wrapper her legs around him and gave him a smirk.

"You taking me to bed, Captain?" She whispered, an eyebrow raised, and it almost brought Ed to his knees.

"Yes," he responded, swallowing hard and walking them back to the back of his apartment. "Oh yes I am…"

* * *

Ed tossed Olivia onto the center of his bed before shedding his lounge pants, revealing he had been going commando, and crawled up her body to settle between her legs. He took his time, his hands traveling over her torso and sides, then up to the front clasp of her red bra. Toying with it, he eyed her with a smirk before undoing the clasp and tugging it away from her body.

"God, I missed these," he growled out before diving down with his mouth and taking a nipple between his lips.

Olivia let out a squeak as her hands reached for his shortly cropped gray hair and held him in place as he bit and sucked at her.

"Yes," she whispered, encouraging his movements. He swapped over to her other breast, giving it equal attention, before moving back up and capturing her lips in a passionate, yet still slow kiss. His tongue invaded her mouth, exploring every crevice it could find, as he tried his best to consume her entire being.

"Ed…" Olivia groaned into his mouth, adjusting her legs slightly so her feet rested on his calves. Ed, not wanting to lose contact, but wanting her to speak, began to kiss down her jawline and to her neck.

"Yes?" he asked in between his kisses, then moving to the place behind her ear that essentially turned her into a puddle.

"Oh god…" she moaned, inhaling sharply at the sensations he was creating.

"Were ya gonna say somethin'?" he asked, popping up from her neck and giving her a smirk. Her eyes were barely open, but from what he could see, they were filled with nothing but desire.

"Make love to me, Ed," she breathed out. "Please…"

"My pleasure," he said, his mouth moving back down to her neck as he slowly kissed his way down her body, paying special attention to her more erogenous spots. As he neared her panty line, he moved his hands from the backs of her thighs and allowed his fingers to play with the lace in between her legs.

"These are nice and all," he said. "But they've gotta go…"

Olivia yelped as his hands reached up and easily ripped the lace off of her body, before moving his mouth to her inner thighs to tease her some more.

"Ed…" she moaned, one hand on the back of his head and the other gripping the comforter on his bed.

"Mmmmmmmmm," he groaned out as his tongue licked slowly up the length of her sex. His head popped up as he looked at her, licking his lips. "Delicious," he said before slowly crawling back up her body and kissing her, allowing her to taste herself on him.

Olivia's body was in overdrive at this point, desperate for him to just fuck her already. She squirmed a bit, her hips thrusting up to meet his.

Ed Tucker received the message loud and clear.

He braced himself over her, his blue eyes never leaving hers, as he positioned himself at her entrance.

"I love you, Olivia," he said one more time, as his tip probed at her.

"I love you, too," she said, for the first time, allowing the tears to bubble up yet again as she felt him slowly enter her body. "Ohhhhhh god…" she moaned out, throwing her head back in pleasure as he filled her up.

"Look at me," he commanded quietly, fully sheathed inside of her but not moving. "I wanna see you…"

She obliged, though it was a challenge, and as soon as their eyes met he began slow, hard thrusts into her body. Olivia let out a grunt each time he bottomed out in her, and she would rotate her hips slightly eliciting similar sounds from the man above her.

"You're gorgeous," she whispered, taking one hand and cupping his face as he continued to make love to her. Dipping down, Ed captured her lips yet again, as he moved harder and faster inside of her.

"Yes," Olivia yelled out, pulling her lips from his and moving her head from side to side as her body climbed slowly towards a climax. "Don't stop…"

"Never," he said, leaning down to take a nipple in his mouth and sucking, before releasing it with a pop. "I love you so damn much…"

"I…love…you…too…." She managed to say between thrusts and groans, as Ed essentially ravaged her body. "Almost…there…."

"Me too," he grunted, before adjusting slightly so one of his hands was free. He brushed her sweaty hair back before trailing his fingertips slowly down her body and reaching her core.

Olivia let out a yelp as she felt Ed begin to rub her clit in rhythm with his thrusts.

"Oh….Oh….OH…." she yelled, her eyes widening as her body tensed up and began to convulse, her release harder than she had anticipated and taking her by surprise. Ed continued to rub at her, coaxing her through her orgasm, before thrusting twice more and stilling, filling her with every ounce of love that he had in him.

The couple lay there, both bodies completely spent, but neither one wanting to move. Ed's face was buried in her neck, allowing her to feel his pants on her flushed skin.

"Wow," she finally said, moving one hand to lightly rub up and down his back. "That was…"

"Incredible," he finished, picking his head up and smiling down at her. "You are incredible…"

"I just love you," she said simply, shrugging a bit and smiling at him.

"Thank you," he said, after examining her face for a few minutes. "For a second chance…"

"No," she said. "Thank you for _my_ second chance…I won't run again."

Ed raised an eyebrow at her, causing her to let out a little laugh and roll her eyes.

"Okay, I'll try not to run again," she said with a chuckle.

"I know I've said it a lot tonight," Ed began. "But…I love you."

"Love you too," Olivia responded, craning her neck up to kiss him. "Happy Birthday."

"Best birthday ever," he said, rolling over and pulling Olivia on top of him so they could rest comfortable. "Best birthday ever…"

* * *

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